Maybe you can tell me....

Why are things the way they are?
I have often spoken a lot to many people, done what I could to show appreciation to the many people that I know, I have numerous times hurt myself in the process without knowledge or feel of the pain that I put myself into. Why is it that I feel that I am obliged to please and appreciate the things that people do for me in this lifetime? I don’t have answers to many of the questions that I raise to myself, I know that someone has the answers to all these but who is it??Where are you!!??
My love for women is indisputable and real, I don’t blame myself for that plus it’s something that I like about myself, I don’t usually indulge girls or women into friendship for the benefit of sexual pleasure, no, I always draw my boundaries of the relationship based on the first date and there are relationships that I have kept and protected in the same way I protect my pride and Ego.
The worst thing that I can say about my true self is that I ain’t much of a promise keeper although I try hard to fulfill the little that I make. I apologize to the few who have fallen victim to my numerous unfulfilled promises, I have always and I will always even if I have to take this fight to the grave then I will: that is to make true and fulfill my mommas wishes and desires because she has always done for me that a few would attempt to or do….she has and is still patient and always prays that it’s going to be fine through this struggle that am in. she has continuously had to take the blame on the petty and also grievous mistakes that me and my big brothers done did.